


Sheol.

by lightsinthewater



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher - Fandom, Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Demon!Shane, Fallen Angel, Fluff, M/M, inspired by a tumblr post, no beta we die like men, shyan, shyan fanfic, shyan fic, tags will change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightsinthewater/pseuds/lightsinthewater
Summary: this fic is based off of a tumblr post:"You know what I want to read? A demon Shane angst where he gets a nightmare of when he fell and like it's so vivid that like it really messes with him. Like, he can't bring himself to be his normal cynical self, so eventually Ryan gets worried and calls him and checks in him.Shane doesn't want Ryan knowing he's a demon, because obviously, so he kinda just says that he's sick.After another day or so, getting the same nightmare everytime he sleeps, he HAS to tell someone. So, he tells Ryan about the dream, but saying that he's dreaming that he's an Angel who's falling instead of telling Ryan immediately.Ryan eventually prices it together, and then whatever the author decides should happen next happens."being the tired author I am, I snatched it up while simultaneously taking on like twelve billion other projects (eheh *nervous laughter*)updates will be very far apart, I have a lot of schoolwork to doenjoy!
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 36
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello all! so, as you can read in the summary, this fic is based on a tumblr post! to the people that found this from my tumblr, sup! feel free to check out my other stuff on here! 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

Memories and dreams tended to blend together. There was no telling where the misty cage of subconscious ended and reality began, especially when it was about The Past. 

Shane didn’t remember much from his days before falling, but he supposed that’s what happened when you had been around for literal millennia and had trouble remembering your name sometimes. But he could remember how it felt. 

_The golden glint of sun on his wings, a pearly sheen of holiness perpetuating his every emotion, a sense of now-ness that he couldn’t quite explain._

_And then pain._

_And misery._

_And falling._

  
  


_Falling._

_Falling._

_Opaque darkness had blacked out the pure white, shrouding his vision, as he tumbled through a thick, blood-red aura that smelled of burning flesh and regret. Screams tore through his ears as claws pierced his wings. They severed messily off his back, leaving jagged, bloody stumps and a writhing agony that slithered into his brain like a viper, striking any place it could find. It filled his mind with venom, bringing with it a searing hellfire that engulfed him and spread throughout every area of his being._

_He remembered screaming. His screams. Atlas’s screams when he couldn’t catch Shane._

_So_

_Much_

_Screaming._

_So_

_Much_

_Pain._

_“SHANE, TAKE MY HAND!”_

_“RUN, PLEASE-”_

_“SHANE!”_

_\--_

“ **ATLAS**!” 

Shane bolted upright, drenched in a cold sweat. His back throbbed with a phantom pain of beauty long ripped from his shoulders. Shuddering, he threw the covers onto the floor and curled up against the headboard, knees tucked to his chest. The motion made him nauseous, dark spots popping up in his line of vision. 

Shane bolted out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, flinging open the toilet seat and hunching over the bowl. He heaved, but nothing came out. 

Shaking, he flipped the shower on to its coldest setting and sat underneath the stream of water fully clothed.

His prior attempts to stifle any tears were thwarted almost immediately. Sobs racking his body, Shane buried his face in his arm and screamed silently. He started to hyperventilate. 

The walls were closing in.

_Thewallswereclosinginthewallswereclosinginthewalls-_

The edges of his vision started to go black. It was too close to the black from After. A dark, impenetrable inkinesss that absorbed everything it touched, turning it to ashes and leaving behind nothing but the feeling of despair. 

Invisible hands clutched at his arms, his legs, his torso. They grabbed fistfuls of clothing, tugging and stinging. Phantom talons pierced his skin. Shane wailed, swatting away the sensations and kicking his legs frantically. 

It was a long time before his vision started to uncloud and he was able to stare up at the ceiling. 

He tilted his head back, letting the river of his tears mingle with the water from the showerhead, wet ringlets of his hair clinging to his pale skin. He could barely see anything now, but he knew that if he had looked in the mirror, there would be no color in his eyes, no humanity left to discover on his face. 

_Humanity. What a stupid word,_ Shane thought as he tried to regain control of his breathing. _What the fuck is humanity, even. I’m not even sure most mortals know what it is, least of all possess it._

The truth of it was, there wasn’t any to be had. He couldn’t think of a single being, mortal or immortal, alive or dead, that came anywhere close to what “humanity” was intended to be.

Muffled laughter, and sunshine, and _good_. 

An image of Ryan sitting on a park bench on a bright, warm afternoon during a shoot drifted across his mind’s eye. Smiling softly, Shane’s heart warmed. 

_Damnit,_ he thought, his heart starting to lower to its normal speed as he envisioned the happy, caring man he had started to call home. 

A memory surfaced as he leaned his head back against the cold white tile, struggling to maintain steady breaths. 

_Ryan was sitting with him in a conference room, their backs pressed against a frosted glass wall. Shane’s mic was tangled up in his shirt. He’d run out of the studio while recording a postmortem. Something had...snapped. He had learned that humans called it a “panic attack”. He had also learned that he didn’t like it._

_“Hey, Big Guy…” Ryan had said softly as he closed the door behind him. “What...what’s going on?”_

_Shane struggled for words, coming up with nothing. Ryan nodded his head._

_“Yeah, I understand.”_

_Ryan always understood._

_“I’m sorry, Ry, I messed up the ta-”_

_“Nah, don’t worry about it. We can just cut that part out. It’s not important.”_

_Shane swallowed, nodding. “Okay. Thanks, by the way. For being here. It means a lot.”_

_Ryan smiled, taking his hand. “Of course.”_

Taking a deep breath, Shane braced his hands on the side of the bathtub and stood up, his legs shaking. Sighing, he retreated to his bedroom and curled up on top of his blankets, eventually slipping into a restless sleep filled with mangled yells and flashes of memories long lost.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! sorry this chapter is a bit short, I promise the next one will be longer!
> 
> enjoy!

Glancing nervously around the office, Ryan searched for his friend. It was almost one, and Shane still hadn’t shown up for work. Normally, he would assume that he had some form of appointment (dentist, doctor, etc.), but Shane always texted.

Ryan knew that he was probably being ridiculous. If Shane were here, he’d say something like _you look like you’ve seen a something-that-doesn’t-exist_ , and Ryan would laugh, and say _Shut up Shane_ , and then they would both get back to work.

But Shane wasn’t here. 

And Shane always texted. 

Sighing, Ryan clamped his headphones back over his ears and resumed editing the latest episode of the postmortem. 

\-----

The lilting melody of Shane’s ringtone drifted through his room, pulling him out of a heavy sleep. Groaning, he dragged a hand across his weary eyes and stretched, before fumbling around on his nightstand for his phone and squinting at the lock screen. 

**New Message from** **_Ry_ ** **:**

_Hey, Big Guy, you ok?_

Eyes widening, Shane flicked his eyes up to the numbers displayed at the top of his screen. 

“Shit.” He hadn’t meant to sleep so late. If he was being honest, he would prefer to never sleep again if he had any say in it. 

**_Yeah, sorry, I had to take a sick day._ **

_Oh_

_Did you catch that stomach bug that’s been going around the office?_

**_I guess so_ **

Shane gritted his teeth. He hated lying to Ryan, he really did. But he couldn’t exactly tell the truth, could he?

_We’re shooting tomorrow, do you think you’ll be ok?_

**_Yeah, this was a one-day thing I think_ **

At least, he hoped it was. 

\-----

The night before the Unsolved shoot was as bad as the night before. The same dream played over and over again in his head, trapping him in a cycle of mangled screams and a feeling of sheer terror that drove him out of bed and into the shower again, before pushing him out onto the balcony. The cold wind had ripped through his hair, chilling his wet skin and making him tremble. 

He didn’t remember much after that, but he woke up in the bathtub the next morning with a pulled muscle in his neck. He had sighed, willing it to stretch back into place, grimacing as it was set right by a firm, invisible hand. 

He’d almost canceled the shoot--he didn’t think he could ignore the shadowy figures clustered in the corners of every room they entered, didn’t think he could watch how the spirits _fled_ from him. It was a reminder of who he was. Who he _used_ to be. 

But he couldn’t do that to Ryan. Not in a million years. And he knew how long a million years felt because he’d been around for much longer than that.

So he knew he couldn’t cancel. 

\-----

Ryan walked up to Shane’s car when he pulled into the parking lot at Buzzfeed. He stepped back as Shane climbed outside, closing the door to his car and locking it behind him. The setting sun washed his features with a warm, golden glow, accentuating the curve of his nose and bringing out the golden flecks in his irises. He turned to face the shorter man, who was trying to suppress the furious blush creeping across his cheeks. 

“Hey, Big Guy!” Ryan said, smiling slightly and scanning his friend’s features for any signs of unwellness. He watched as Shane’s shoulders untensed a bit, and he tried not to think about how happy it made him to see the other man relax around him. 

“Hey, Ry,” Shane said quietly, pulling him into a hug. He lingered for a bit longer than normal, and Ryan pulled back, placing his hands on Shane's upper arms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, but the taller man shook his head.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Ryan raised an eyebrow, not believing him. “Really. I’m ok.” Shane's voice was hoarse and rough, sending a chill down Ryan’s spine while simultaneously making him worry about his friend’s well-being. He opened his mouth to prod farther but decided against it. If something was bothering Shane, he would tell him. He always did. 

“Alright. You ready to catch some ghouls tonight?” Ryan grinned, rubbing his hands together excitedly. Shane laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m ready to watch you get scared of the wind moving some leaves, yes.”

“Shut up, Shane.”

\-----

Shane didn’t like the feel of this place. It felt old and deep, and... _awake_. It was unnerving, and he tried not to let Ryan see how worried he was as they walked down a dark hallway, flashlights in hand, towards the room where they would film the intro. 

Something skittered across the floor in front of them, and Ryan nearly leapt out of his skin, clutching at the sleeve of Shane’s jacket, who chuckled.

“Just a rat, Ry. You’re okay,” he said, and Ryan nodded, slowly relinquishing his grip on his arm.

“Right. Okay. So, uh, here’s the--here’s the room,” he choked out, stepping through the doorway and claiming one of the two chairs the management had set out for them. Shane sat to his right, nervously glancing behind him and trying to ignore the 4 spirits staring him down, their hollow eyes filled with trepidation. He could tell that they were gauging if he was dangerous. He hated it. 

“Shane,” came Devon’s firm tone, and he snapped his head back around, ignoring Ryan’s smug smile. “What’s going on with you?” He could tell she didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it still hurt.

“I’m just tired, I think. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Everyone ready?” she asked, and Ryan nodded. Shane did the same, and TJ started rolling. Devon slated for the camera, and Ryan dove into the history of the building. It was an abandoned hospital about three hours from LA, one that was notorious for its sightings of shadow people and somewhat violent spirits, ones that would scratch and pull at the clothing and hair of visitors.

 _Great_ , Shane thought, nervously fidgeting with a loose thread on the cuff of his sleeve.

He could often sense if a place was dangerous; it was just a skill you developed after spending thousands of years in the evilest, most decrepit areas known to any being, alive or dead. And this was one of those places. The feeling of darkness that saturated the atmosphere here was overwhelming, bearing down on Shane’s heightened senses and threatening to rip apart what small fragments that were left of his sanity. 

Ryan continued on with information about the hospital, and Shane interjected now and then with a sarcastic remark, trying to disregard the paranoia he couldn’t quite push away. 

He really didn’t like the feel of this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter should be up soon-ish!
> 
> kudos and comments feed my huge ego
> 
> thanks for reading! xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! sorry for the later update, school has been (and still is) kicking my ass so it's been hard to find writing time. enjoy the chapter!
> 
> it's like 1:30 am for me so this isn't really beta'd by anyone but Grammarly so excuse any mistakes alsdkfjlfkd

“ _ Ryan _ ,” Shane hissed, grabbing his friend by the elbow and gently (but firmly) steering him into a side room off of the hall. He brushed some fallen dust from his shoulder and glanced behind him, narrowing his eyes at the figures hovering nearby. “ _I don't like this place_ .” Ryan raised an eyebrow, chuckling. 

“What, Shane, you scareddddddd?” 

“No, of course not,” he said, making a face. “It’s just….this building...it feels--it feels off.”

“I mean, yeah...that’s kinda the point-”

“No, Ry, you don’t get--nevermind. Just, I keep hearing things,” he fibbed. “I think there might be squatters here or something.”

“Oh,” Ryan said, nodding his head in understanding. “I think it’s just an echo or something--maybe a ghoul,” he said, wiggling his fingers playfully. “But yeah, no, management said they check every day for stuff like that. We should be fine. You know, except for the ghosts.”

“Uh-huh,” Shane said, feigning sarcasm and rolling his eyes. He shivered and tried not to let his eyes widen as he realized there was a transparent, dark mass floating a few feet behind his friend. “Let’s, uh, let’s catch up with the crew,” he said quickly, once again grabbing Ryan’s arm and leading him out of the room, watching out of the corner of his eye as the spirit slowly retreated back into the shadows. 

Ryan glanced upward at him, concerned, but he pretended he didn’t see it.

\-----

Worry slithered through Shane’s mind, weaving a web of panic and paranoia as he and Ryan surveyed the large room in front of them, watching the crew set up cameras around the space. The spirits were too...confident. They usually stayed away from him. Now, they were breathing down his neck. He swatted at one, playing it off as a mosquito, and he heard it  _ hiss _ as it retreated back into the darkness.  _ Hiss _ . Like a fucking  _ goose _ (Fun fact: Satan had made those feathery bastards one particularly dreary Thursday after getting mad at Beelzebub. It was a very interesting staff meeting that next Monday. Insults were thrown. As well as a couple of severed heads).

“Satan help me,” he muttered under his breath. It was going to be a long night. 

\-----

Long was an understatement. The hours seemed to crawl by as Shane and Ryan explored the crumbling old building, and the demon couldn’t help but worry as the night progressed. If anything happened to them--to  _ Ryan _ \--tonight, it would be his fault. The thought made his palms clammy. 

_ Stupid human body with stupid reactions to things _ , he thought to himself.

He followed Ryan up a set of stairs, the paint on the banister flaking away under his touch.  _ Would it kill them to do some basic renovations? _

**_“You don’t belong here_ ** **.”**

“What?” Shane stammered, whipping around. 

“You good, Big Guy?” Ryan asked as he turned to face him, tilting his head.

“Uh...yeah, it--I...I thought I heard Devon say something. Guess not.” He could see their line producer raise an eyebrow, but he ignored it and tried to convince himself the voice he had heard was simply in his head.

“Careful, Shane, you’re starting to sound like me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shane laughed, continuing up the stairs behind Ryan. “You can say that all you want, but I’m not the one who’ll be screaming like a banshee during my solo investigation.”

“Shut up, Shane.”

**_“We know what you are.”_ **

He swallowed nervously, clenching his hands into fists in his jacket pockets and locking his eyes ahead of him.

\-----

“I’ve gotta say,” Ryan said to the camera in his hand as he slowly crept down the dark hallway. “This building, uh, probably--probably one of the creepiest places I’ve-THE FUCK WAS THAT?” He whirled around, the flashlight in his hand trembling. An opaque, shadow-like mass darted just out of his sight. Hating himself for it, he stepped into a side room off the hallway in search of the shadow. 

“My name’s Ryan,” he squeaked, choking on the words, his throat tight with fear. “I’m--I’m not here to hurt you. How about...how about we make an agreement you don’t hurt me?” swallowing the lump in his throat, he peered around a nearby corner.

“RYAN!”

Rya almost shit his pants at the sound of Shane’s words. 

“YOUR TIME’S UP!”

“Thanks, Big Guy,” he called out, running out of the room and speed walking up the hallway back toward the crew and his friend. Shane clapped him on the shoulder with a shit-eating grin as he reached the group. “You scared...the shit...out of me….” Ryan panted, playfully punching Shane in the arm before doubling over, placing his hands on his knees. 

“I’m sure the ghosts did it enough before I did.”

“OH!” Ryan exclaimed, whipping his head around back towards the hallway, his eyes frantically searching for something. “I saw something, I swear I did!”

“What, Ry.”

“Some, shadowy thin-”

“Oh, come  _ on _ ,” Shane scoffed, pretending to glance away in frustration to hide how wide his eyes were. 

“Nonono, it was like a defined shape, kind of human-like, but it wasn’t my shadow, it was taller and slimmer, and I was shining my flashlight right at it, I-”

“Did you catch it on the GoPro?”

“I don’t know, we’ll have to check later.”

“Hand me the rig, will ya?” 

“Yeah, here.” Ryan helped Shane get situated with the GoPro and handed him the Osmo. He couldn’t help but notice a slight sheen on his friend’s forehead. Was he...nervous? 

Of course not, this was Shane. He’d asked a demon to eat his heart. Probably just the weather--it was getting closer to summer, so the temperature was starting to rise. Nevertheless, Ryan couldn’t help but dig his fingernails into his palms as his friend retreated down the dark hallway. 

\--- 

“Alright, guys, let’s, uh--let’s play nice?” Shane said quietly, glancing around. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Crushing silence roared around him, making his ears ring. 

**_“Oh, but_ ** **we** **_want to hurt_ ** **you** **_. We know who you are. What you’ve done,”_ ** a menacing voice snarled. 

“That was a long time ago, I don’t...I don’t do that anymore,” the demon answered quickly, trying (and failing) to mask the tremor in his voice. “Things...things have changed,” he continued, glancing back down the hallway to where he came from. To who was waiting for him to come back. 

**_“Demons don’t change,”_ ** growled the voice, and Shane stumbled backward, bumping up against a cement pillar. 

“I have, I--look, I don’t know why I... _ fell _ , but it wasn’t my fault,” he said, sighing. “Believe me, I...I didn’t want to.” he shut his eyes momentarily, thinking of sunkissed smiles and days spent by the ocean. “I didn’t  _ choose _ this. Almost none of us did. I may have made a shitty angel, and been good at the whole demon thing at first, but it’s not...it’s not like that anymore.”

**_“Bullshit,”_ ** the shadow spat.  **_“You’ll never be anything more than a vile, heartless creature who serves a cruel master. You’re nothing. And no one. Humans despise you. Your own kind cast you out. You will never be anything more.”_ **

_ Humans despise you.  _

Shane tried not to dwell on that one for too long. 

“Alright Big Guy, your time’s up!” Ryan shouted from down the hallway, and Shane jolted, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before beginning to cautiously walk in the direction of his friend. He heard a loud  _ WOOSH _ , and before he knew it, he was face-down on the concrete floor. A loud crack sounded, and he flinched as he felt his nose break. “Shane?” came Ryan’s voice, closer now. The demon groaned, and set his nose with a quick chant, squinting against the pain. Glancing upwards, he could see his friend speed-walking toward him. “Oh my god, dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Shane lied, taking the hand the younger man had offered him and hauling himself up off the floor. “Just tripped, I guess.”

“Alrigh--oh, fuck.”

“What?” 

“The GoPro.”

“What about it?” 

“Look,” Ryan said, pointing to his friend’s forehead. Shane reached upwards, taking the GoPro off to get a better look at it. His eyes widened as he saw the crack down the middle of the device’s lens. 

“Fuck, Ry, I’m so sorry…”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. Just...how hard did you fall?”

“Ryan, I’m fine.”

“Huh,” the believer said, grinning. “It’s almost like-”

“Don’t you fucking dare-”

“A ghost tripped you,” he crowed, grinning.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“Yup.” A pause, before: “Let’s get back to everyone else.”

“Sounds good,” Shane said, glancing back over his shoulder once more, then following his friend down the hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after this, it might take a bit to upload the next chapter, I have other projects I want to work on as well, so uh yeah sorry my dudes
> 
> kudos and comments feed my huge ego  
> thx for reading! xx


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